
Your Go-To Guide for LQBTQ+ Support in North Carolina
February 4, 2025A committed relationship sounds like a static concept, but really it is a dynamic agreement between individuals that requires constant care. Individuals come together as a couple but have different histories and ways of experiencing their identity within and outside of their partnership. When life’s challenges hit or big milestones occur, such as having children, or the loss of a job, sometimes the identity of the couple changes, and what held that bond together, falls apart. Couples therapy is one way to bring two individuals to an understanding of their shared and separate interests, how to better communicate, understand one another, and be a support in life.
Clinical Training for Couples
Partnerships have a life cycle when they are long-term. There is no wrong time to come to couples therapy if you are looking to improve communication, better understand a partner’s past and behavior, work through trauma, and deepen intimacy. In fact, it is arguable that early intervention in this life cycle is only beneficial. Why? Our communication styles are shaped by our individual experiences. Over time communication patterns between a couple can deteriorate to a degree where common ground is hard to find. This is where therapeutic clinical training can help repair communication and get couples moving once again toward common goals.
The Invaluable Third-Party Perspective
A therapeutic setting provides a secure and structured space for couples to discuss challenges, work on communication, and strengthen their bond and identities. There are two key things to consider, security and structure. First, your therapist must be a non-partisan professional without a personal stake in the partnership. Their professional duty is to offer ways and techniques to better communicate and be in healthy partnership. Sometimes it will be the case that it is most healthy and best for both individuals to disband the union, and that is one outcome that must be considered before entering counseling.
Where both parties are secure, and trust the guidance of their therapist, the therapist is able to work with the couple according to their plan and schedule. As a third party bearing witness to the agreements made on both sides, therapists help to track progress and hold a container where a couple can work on interpersonal skills, be vulnerable, and communicate freely. The structure of how couples therapy works is not standardized by generally following guidelines, depending on the specialization of the therapist and the type of counseling the couple is seeking. Couples can be looking for a resolution where children are involved, repair after infidelity, addiction, betrayal, or to deepen connection.
How Therapy Works for Couples
While the exact structure of how a therapist works with a couple will depend on their unique situation, the timelines for couples counseling are fairly generic. A couple will meet together and in some cases individually with a therapist and share their personal histories, existing relationship dynamics, and what they want to achieve through counseling. In these sessions, a therapist will ask partners about their own perspectives on the relationship challenges and individual challenges. The therapist will then be able to determine patterns of behavior and underlying issues that can fit within the goal of the counseling plan laid out.
Establishing clear objectives for therapy helps guide the therapeutic process and define what the couples want to achieve. Couples can expect to work on improving communication, identifying and changing negative patterns, understanding the root causes of their individual behaviors or how they contribute to patterns, and building better conflict-resolution skills. Therapists will use a number of techniques including role-playing, active listening exercises, and guided conversations about the past, to foster deeper intimacy, rebuild trust, and develop long-term strategies for change. Depending on the plan and progress, a couple will reduce the frequency of sessions or plan check-ins periodically.
Trick of the Couples Therapy Trade
The biggest trick for couples therapists is to not compare your journey as a couple to anyone else’s. No two people are identical and neither are their experiences. An agreement to be committed to each other starts every day. Being in a relationship is an action. Loving someone the way they would like to be loved is a daily choice. How someone wants to be loved will change over time. These truths are foundational for couples and stand the test of time, and we do have one tip!
One example for our readers to take home and make their relationship communication better today is to commit to four daily check-ins. Once in the morning, once mid-day, at the end of a work day, and before bed. This practice prevents emotional disconnection, reduces conflict, builds emotional safety, and improves communication over the long term.
At Apogee Behavioral Medicine, we understand that relationships require ongoing effort, communication, and support. If you and your partner are navigating challenges, seeking deeper connection, or simply want to strengthen your bond, our experienced therapists are here to help. We offer compassionate and evidence-based couples therapy tailored to your unique needs, whether in-person or through telehealth. Same-day appointments are available to get you started on your journey to healthier, more fulfilling relationships.
Call us at (855) 409-9002 to schedule your first session today. Take the first step toward a stronger, more connected partnership!